Yesterday, I was reading a new Esquire interview with Taylor Swift, and this hit me so hard:
(source)
This is not a post to fangirl over TSwift, because I really only like her about 62% of the time. This post is less about who said it, and more about what she said.
"I'm realistic about the fact that millions of people don't have time in their day to maintain a complex profile of who I am."
That is so, so good. One of my hugest weaknesses is tripping over how I think other people perceive me. But here is the thing (and this is going to make me sound really arrogant): people spend a lot less time thinking about me than I think they do. One time, I was trying to explain this fear/stress that I have to someone, a person that I had really only just met, and she said, "You know, it's not all or nothing. Just because someone doesn't think you're the coolest person ever doesn't mean that they think you are the worst. Maybe they just feel neutral about you." I realize that sounds like terrible, hurtful advice to some people, but it was so helpful to me, and it's something I reflect back on a lot. I had never thought about that space in between COOLEST PERSON EVER and omgtotalloser. And that space is probably where a lot of people perceive me. Just like Swifty said, "And that's okay. As long as those adjectives aren't train wreck, mess, terrible."
And then today, I saw this on one of my most favorite blogger's instagram:
(source)
Do you see that post-it on the computer? It says "Don't disappoint the wrong people." That sounds like a scary threat, but it's more about knowing who really matters to you. Know your home team, the people who rely on you and love on you and vice versa. It's good and helpful to care about what they think, and it's so worth the effort to not disappoint them.
But everyone else, well, sometimes their opinions of you just don't matter a bit.